This topic has probably run its course. Aaron Taylor has probably received enough grief for his astute, sophisticated pre-game take on last week's Notre Dame-Clemson game.
But, well, we haven't had enough fun with it yet.
Aaron's biggest fault was not picking against Clemson. A lot of people picked Notre Dame in that game, and for perfectly good reasons. There's nothing wrong with that.
The biggest mistake was, uh, not really knowing his audience. Last time I checked, most college football fans don't watch Masterpiece Theater. And the term "lugubrious" was so overly highbrow that it deserved every bit of ridicule that Dabo Swinney gave it after the game. I mean, there's a reason the great movie "Office Space" chose "case of the Mondays" instead of "case of the lugubriousness."
But in the interest of improving everyone's vocabulary -- or more just impressing you with my awesome, sophisticated vocabulary, here's a few paragraphs on the state of Clemson football:
(CAUTION: The following paragraphs must be read while wearing a sweatervest, holding a pipe, in your study, with brow furrowed, and with this music playing in the background)
I must posit that, five days hence, I found myself transfixed by the Clemson conglomerate's subjugation of the malevolent Irish antagonists beneath a most molesting and arresting array of precipitation.
I must admit I was slightly aggrieved during this exhibition at the practicability of precipitation enfeebling my Mac mainframe.
In advance of the coming confrontation with the syndicate from Atlanta, my primordial extrapolation is that Georgia Tech's triple-prerogative offensive disposition will be a bit of a provocation for Clemson.
OK, back to the 20th century...
A few Thursday links:
-- Just amazing that Virginia Tech has lost eight of its last 10 at home against FBS competition. Never thought we'd see the day, did we? David Teel explores.
'Twould be folly to suggest that Beamer is coaching for his job Friday. The final chapters of his Hall of Fame career are far more nuanced and still to be determined.
But Tech is 2-3, 0-1 ACC, after consecutive setbacks to East Carolina and Pitt. The Hokies have lost eight of their last 10 at home versus Bowl Subdivision opponents and have dropped more ACC games in the last three-plus seasons (13) than they did in their first eight years of membership (11).
This season is not sentenced to the scrap heap, but once again, Tech needs to offer its followers some hope. Heck, the Hokies probably need to convince themselves, players and coaches alike, that they are better than they've shown the last two weeks.
Beamer certainly appears to understand the urgency.
Clearly peeved after the Pitt loss, he vowed introspection and hinted at personnel changes, despite the short prep time for N.C. State. Sure enough, oft-torched defensive back Greg Stroman was moved to receiver, where the Hokies have failed to develop any depth behind Cam Phillips and Isaiah Ford. That translates to more snaps for true freshman corner Mook Reynolds.
Also, Beamer said offensive tackle Yosuah Nijman, another true freshman, deserves more playing time, less an endorsement of him than an indictment of junior starter Jonathan McLaughlin. In most all instances, a program forced to use a rookie offensive tackle has personnel shortcomings rooted in recruiting.
-- Matt Hayes of Sporting News wonders whether Texas and Tennessee fans are pushing the panic button too soon. Actually he doesn't wonder. He says fans of both schools are cra-cra for calling for new coaches.
“You’re only as good as the last time you screw up,” Dabo Swinney told me in the summer of 2012, when there were some in the upstate who were absolutely positive — beyond a doubt — that Swinney wasn’t the right coach because he couldn’t beat South Carolina and his team had just given up 18,000 points to West Virginia in the Orange Bowl.
Meanwhile, back in the real world, Swinney’s teams at Clemson have won 36 of their last 43 games since 2012, including bowl wins over Ohio State, Oklahoma and LSU — and after last week’s thrilling win over Notre Dame, are primed to make a run at the College Football Playoff.
Now, we U-turn to the curious cases of Texas and Tennessee, because — like it or not — every program is connected in the land of everyone thinks they should win it all and only one does.
We’re five weeks into the season and nothing has gone as planned, and you better believe someone has to pay. The logical someone, of course, is the guy making $3 million to $4 million a year to win games.
Because how can Tennessee blow a 17-point lead at home to Oklahoma, and a 13-point lead on the road to Florida, and Butch Jones still be employed after this season? How can Charlie Strong, whose Texas team has one lousy win this fall and may not win more than three or four all season, lead the cash bovine at Texas if he’s losing by 50 to little ‘ol TCU.
It is here where I remind you of what was. In other words, this is what you’re asking for, lunatics:
— You want Texas to fire a coach who is a proven program builder and elite recruiter. Earlier this spring, 11 Louisville players were selected in the NFL Draft — all 11 were recruited and developed by Strong at a program that was an utter dumpster fire when he arrived.
That’s 11 more players than Texas had drafted the year before Strong arrived in Austin, when everyone wanted the last guy fired yesterday because Baylor and TCU zipped by Texas in the Big 12 commuter lane with better players. It’s not a drastic leap to think what Strong did at Louisville with player procurement and development, he will do again at Texas with bigger and better resources.
— You want Tennessee to fire a coach who took over a program that had three coaches in the previous four seasons, and had completely unraveled and become a shell of its former elite self. In those four seasons before Jones arrived, Tennessee fired a beloved former coach, hired a mercenary who left after one season (and left behind NCAA issues), and hired an overmatched legacy who made the previous two botched coaching decisions look brilliant.
So yeah, let’s blow it all up and start over.
“There’s no such thing as unrealistic expectations,” Strong told me this spring. “I don’t care what job you take.”
-- In Louisville, sales of the tell-all book are falling.
Tonight’s roundup of reporting from the University of Louisville basketball scandal allegations is abbreviated, because not much happened.
Probably of most interest to me — the book that spawned all this, Katina Powell’s “Breaking Cardinal Rules,” appears as if it may have plateaued.
As of this writing, it has slipped to No. 377 on Amazon’s Kindle Store, from a high of around No. 200. It’s not the kind of blockbuster the 43-year-old Louisville resident and self-described former escort and adult entertainer probably was hoping for.
It’s not the kind of payday that Indianapolis Business Journal and its sister company, IBJ Book Publishing, had hoped for, but still a respectable showing. Perhaps sales will still pick up.
In the Apple iTunes book store, the book is No. 50 overall, down 12 spots from a day before.
But while sales slipped a bit on Wednesday, and news was a bit harder to come by, there seems no interest in the story, even if some of us are feeling a bit of fatigue from the story.
-- Cool piece here from a West Coaster who traveled to Athens to get his first taste of college football in the Deep South.
I found the Bama fans to be much more convivial. By Friday night every bar in Athens was so packed the crowds were spilling into the street, with both school's team colors well represented. Given how passionate the fan bases are I expected the vibe would be tense, but the supporters were happy to drink alongside each other and cheerfully talk trash. This was explained to me by Paul Finebaum, another of the co-hosts of SEC Nation. "There's a special bond among the SEC schools," he said. "Of course they want to beat each other, but at the same time there's a recognition among fans that they're part of an exclusive club."
Indeed, on Friday night in Athens two Alabama fraternities had paired with their brothers at the Georgia chapters to co-host a party at the Sigma Alpha Epsilon house, which occupies a prime spot on the edge of downtown. I kept hearing the unverifiable claim that it was to be the biggest party in school history. Naturally, I was compelled to wangle an invite. At 11 p.m. the front entrance to the SAE house was utter chaos, with kids relentlessly pouring in as two harried security guards tried to authenticate their wristbands. (Apparently, some future CEO was doing a brisk business on campus selling counterfeits.) The fraternity bros were uniformly outfitted in jeans and Oxford shirts, with the fresh-scrubbed looks of Abercrombie models. The young women were turned out in short skirts or short shorts and all manner of vertiginous footwear.
As packs of coeds streamed by, Georgia junior Lloyd Brown wore a slightly dazed look. "There's too many of 'em," he said.
I thought back to something Dooley had told me: "I can't explain why, but the South seems to produce the prettiest girls. When I was a scout, that was one of the perks of the job. And I can say that coming to Georgia was always something we looked forward to."
-- And we close with some Charles Bradley.
You're welcome.
LW
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