DEI definitely gets lumped in with affirmative action and quotas. And those are generally part of what people perceive DEI as being focused on.
I get the intent of DEI programs and if they are executed as you both describe, sure, that's not a bad thing. But that's not the case in reality. Two quick examples:
I work for a pre-IPO company. Two years ago, we had a management consultant come in and tell us that our leadership team wasn't diverse enough and that it would negatively impact our IPO. Nevermind the fact that we have people born in 4 different countries on our leadership team, which provides tons of the diversity of perspective sought by these types of initiatives. But there were no "people of color," so we're not diverse enough.
And we know that colleges discriminate based on race. That's been declared as illegal now (correctly so) and groups are suing universities for discrimination. Here's the first
link on Google of this happening with CA universities.
Here's the deal. We should all be inclusive and kind and accommodating. But I shouldn't get shit for not manufacturing diversity on my leadership team. And my blond-haired, blue-eyed sons shouldn't be passed over by less qualified students for college admission. Period.
And people are sick of that shit. Rightfully so.