Interesting conversation on chivalry
- Thread starter scott in nashville
- Start date
Was raised to always give up your seat for a woman, open doors, the whole nine yards... But it’s 2019, and not only do most women not care about such gestures, a lot of them will be offended
Like the poster said above, it’s about respect. I used to do it a lot, even for men in some occasions just out of general kindness and manner. People, women mostly, who get angry by it are disingenuously misinterpreting your motives. They know full well it’s simply a nice gesture, but we live in a culture where everyone is outraged by something... Frustrating, but what do you do
But yeah, elderly folks and handicapped folks, always give it up, no questions asked.
Like the poster said above, it’s about respect. I used to do it a lot, even for men in some occasions just out of general kindness and manner. People, women mostly, who get angry by it are disingenuously misinterpreting your motives. They know full well it’s simply a nice gesture, but we live in a culture where everyone is outraged by something... Frustrating, but what do you do
But yeah, elderly folks and handicapped folks, always give it up, no questions asked.
A girl that I courted at Clemson once gave a speech in class titled "Chivalry is Not Dead" based on my pursuit of her.
I was proud of that but it got me nowhere.
I was proud of that but it got me nowhere.
Exact same way, but giving it up because an able bodied perfectly fit 30 year old female comes around? Lol that is so dumb.
Offering your seat is an indictment on you and how you were raised, not on her.
I've been chastised for holding the door open for progressive women who "don't need a man to hold the door open" for them. I still did it and then went on my merry way. I was pleasant and she was pissed.
I've gotten chastised for calling younger women "ma'am". I offered a sign of respect, they can reject it and get grumpy about it, it's no skin off my nose.
It's interesting that you consider chivalry to be a sign of respect but don't seem to care if some people find it disrespectful. Sort of seems to miss the point.
To be clear, you're not the only person in this thread who has said this. But I do think it's absurd for someone who "sees the value respect" to relish aggravating people.
I think you're missing the point.
You offer respect and what that other person does with it is up to them. The result isn't up to me, only the offering. The best part is they have done nothing to deserve it, I offer it freely.
I don't relish aggravating people, but the few instances where it has been rejected stand out. The point is chivalry is considering others more than yourself.
You offer respect and what that other person does with it is up to them. The result isn't up to me, only the offering. The best part is they have done nothing to deserve it, I offer it freely.
I don't relish aggravating people, but the few instances where it has been rejected stand out. The point is chivalry is considering others more than yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but chivalry is ultimately about being polite. Politeness is about being considerate to other people. You're not being polite if you're not considering the other person's reaction.
OP, I am in agreement with you. It would embarrass me to be sitting with women standing.
This shit is nonsense.... I was raised like this in New York. I did it there, did it in the South and still do it today in SoCal.
And most people appreciated it in all those places. I can’t speak for the current market outside of Southern California but most people still appreciate it in the places I roam.
While we’re on this topic let it be known that when courteously letting cars into the roadway from Popeyes at peak lunch while holding up traffic you can only let out one car. Pat yourself on the back and move on. Don’t let out a line of cars unless it’s a funeral or if no one is behind you being victimized by your virtue.
Similarly an entrance ramp on the highway in heavy traffic functions optimally as a zipper...let one car in and go.
Similarly an entrance ramp on the highway in heavy traffic functions optimally as a zipper...let one car in and go.
I was raised the same way...I’m having fun in Europe holding open doors for these young women. Some are appreciative (Italy), some could care less (France).
I don't boo opposing teams...unless they are trash. That is why I will boo UofSCjr any chance I get. I'm actually in my house right now, just booing, very loudly (and my neighbors are looking), because I am simply thinking about that team. It is like a gut reaction, like vomiting, can't control it.
Here it comes again in typed form...BOOOOOOO. Man I hate those gamecocks. Boooooooo. BOOOOO.
Chivalry and equal rights aren’t mutually exclusive.
I can still hold the truck door for my wife etc while expecting she’s paid the same for her job as a man is compensated the same job.
I can still hold the truck door for my wife etc while expecting she’s paid the same for her job as a man is compensated the same job.
FWIW I am a month and ahalf short of 60 & I say Mam to any female 14 or older. just the way I was raised.
Also I hate NBA and soccer
Also I hate NBA and soccer
I’m still on the fence about the fact that your either a total ass/clown or complete troll on TI.
Either way, I don’t understand your logic.
So, I understand why giving up your seat to a woman in..say...the 1950s was the correct play. Men were treated as superior and, for the most part, had more opportunities, thus those that needed protecting (elderly and women) would be cared for. That's not really the case today though.
IMO you give up your seat to an older gentleman before a young woman.
IMO you give up your seat to an older gentleman before a young woman.
Always gave up my seat and my children’s seat
At 63 I am slower to do so but still do
At 63 I am slower to do so but still do
I knew this would be your response. I actually looked for it and you never disappoint. I taught my son differently.
No, you can't control other people's reaction but opening doors, saying maam or sir is a sign of politeness - no matter what the reaction will be. You're a polite person, not a mind reader.
If the other person can't see that, then they are actually the one with the problem. And, you should not change what is really your character for the few who are too dumb or crazy to see that.
John, if you’ve ever seen what a woman has to go through in pregnancy (and after) you’d give up your seat to any woman under the assumption that she may be pregnant in the future or has been in the past.
GK Chesterton says it well below.
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In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, "I don't see the use of this; let us clear it away." To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: "If you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it."
******
In the matter of reforming things, as distinct from deforming them, there is one plain and simple principle; a principle which will probably be called a paradox. There exists in such a case a certain institution or law; let us say, for the sake of simplicity, a fence or gate erected across a road. The more modern type of reformer goes gaily up to it and says, "I don't see the use of this; let us clear it away." To which the more intelligent type of reformer will do well to answer: "If you don't see the use of it, I certainly won't let you clear it away. Go away and think. Then, when you can come back and tell me that you do see the use of it, I may allow you to destroy it."
I think a man should offer. And an able bodied woman should decline. I agree with one poster that one should offer their seat to anyone who seems to need it worse than you. However, as my back has given out on me in the past year I am now one who NEEDS the seat. But, by all appearances I would also seem like an ass hole.
Agree with all of this. You’re right that you have to watch out these days. Some women just think too highly of themselves. I’ve opened doors for women and been told “you wish” as they walked by. Was at Lowe’s the other day and was at the outdoor checkout center. It was busy and both lines were open. There was a young couple in one line when I got there and I got in the other line. My line was moving faster because of some slow person in front of them. So, when it came time for me to checkout, they were in the same spot. No one was behind me at that point and I could see the frustration on the faces. While it’s not chivalrous to do so, I just kindly offered them to go in front of me. The girl said thanks, but you know I’m with him, right? I said of course. She said, okay, just wanted to make sure you weren’t starting something that wasn’t going to happen. I looked at the guy and he said thanks man and quickly realized he knew he was with a psycho so I let it go. I did say, listen lady, I’m 45 with two kids and a wife of over 20 years. I’m at a Lowe’s at 8 am on a Saturday. This isn’t a guy that has any ulterior motives.
i was raised the same way i am 47 now and still carry those traditions my parents instilled in me i open all doors for women and elderly people, if i know them or not i say yes mam and no sir i will give up my seat not just to women but to elderly people and hell even to just lazy over weight people yes women want equal rights ,wages,prestige,and rest i believe they should have that and a little extra something called " CHIVALRY" dont worry even this will be slowly wiped out by the dreaded " MILINIELLS"
I don’t think that was his point. The point is the emotion in college football as evidenced by those actions makes the sport what it is.
Lololol typical redneck. Let me guess, book learnin is for devilish libs?
It’s all about a person’s need. It’s not hard. A young woman doesn’t need the seat any more than I do.
You expect me to give a woman my seat because she may have either given birth 10 years ago or will give birth in 10 years? Yeah right.
Then I let her keep standing so I can properly ogle her
So we have to either be mind readers or communicate with the person before trying to be polite? Awesome, now I have to ask someone if they are going to be offended before holding the door for them. The Curb Your Enthusiasm episode has become real life
No, only entering the car. I never thought about having her sit and wait for me to come around and open her door... Should I?
If the person offered respect is offended by kindness it would be far less than the shame my parents and grandparents would have felt had I not offered.
No, you don't have to be a mind reader and if you upset someone it's not the end of the world. But if you refuse to alter your behavior out of consideration for others, you're not actually being polite. If a specific person tells you they don't want to be called ma'am and you do it anyway, you're not demonstrating respect (for example).
Please, no. Lol
Yeah the entering the car is one thing. I’ve seen women waiting for their husband to come around and open the door before. I thought that was a bit too much.
